ThE uNiqUe DiArY

It never cross her mind before.. Never... No special why.. Perhaps he was just too normal among all she could had taken her chance...
Even the first time that he ask her out.. It never cross her mind that he felt something for her... Perhaps those messages sent by him were as normal as well.. Although there will be a few that sounds sweeter.. She had never ponder deeper for any extraordinary meaning..

He had been quite a regular at her workplace.. And to her.. He was a Mr Nice guy whereby she could always ask for her LD if a waitress had started the shot... The most ironic thing happened when she walked over to his table for the first time.. He bluntly mentioned that she has 80 to 90 percent resemblance as his ex girlfriend... He even asked all his friends on that table to vouch.... All answered "yes" ofcourse... She was startled and a little bit turn down because she always place herself as unique piece of art... He asked for her number for quite a number of times, but she rejected in a humour way.. She knew her preposition and she doesn't want to be engage in any unhappiness with him... But she did give him the number when she finally lose to him...

He celebrated his birthday there as well... This time round.. She is closer to his friends and she felt comfortable serving the table... That night was a messy night.. With cakes and drinks... Her chit of order for LD was 9, split 3 each for Verlin and Cherrie... And thereafter comes the Duxton Blue special... She handed him his birthday present bought by his friends and sang him the birthday song... And his friends started the kissing game for the birthday boy... To her... Well, what does it matter for a kiss...? She was the first to give him the peck on his cheek after a few rounds of teasing of the rest of the waitress... He was real drunk that night... Raped by chivas and tequilas and Duxton Blue Special... She initially wanted take a ride with him and his friends.. But dropped the idea when her brother called to go for a drink at Boat Quay...

They started chatting on MSN.. And went out on the first date.. It was a casual one.. That was on the 06/03/2006... They had dinner at Ajisen and pool session at Parklane.. But a strange thing was, she lied to him.. She told him that she was with her girlfriend when he called.. Her heart did thumper for a little harder when she is squeezing her brain cells to lie and had to walk away to answer a call... She seldom would had to act in such a sneaky way... After the date, he walked her home....

On the 25/03/2006, she waked up feeling very uneasy.. Her health condition is deteriorating.. She could feel that she is going to fall sick anytime.. She had to get her herbal tea before the drinking on her working day totally wreck her health.. She thought of what he said to her... "Need any help can always approach me".. She picked up her phone to message him... He agreed to buy for her and will bring it down that night...
By the time he reached... She was already 75 percent controlled by the alcohol... His friends did the teasing again as usual.. And she nodded her head.. Guess she had too much tonight... Hence or otherwise when she is sober... She would had thought of the implications and aftermath... Their kiss was snapped by the camera.. She forgotten how he had the consent from her to send her home... As that night someone was already there to pick her... She was in a dilemma as she doesn't wana turn him down but the other guy was not taking her hint to go.. In a state of being a drunkard... She vaguely remembered that she did use some words she was not supposed to in her reply to his messages... And she even asked him to wait for her at her house downstairs for a talk... By the time she got home... She was already out of her own control... The guy who sent her home kissed her outside her door... And when she got to sit on her bed and look at her message... She replied....

She woke up in a daze and realized that it was morning... She stinks and clothes she wore last night was still intact.... Her message was still stuck in the reply box... Not send... She felt extremely guilty when she read the messages he send.. He was actually waiting for her at her house downstairs till almost 5am... She sent her sorry in her reply... Soon after the handphone played her message tone.. She was astonished that he could had woke up so early to reply her... He sounded odd with sadness... She could sense something wrong... And she could felt his presence drifting further away.. She could help it to know why.. But he wouldn't reveal... She online to her MSN and invited him... After some of her persuading... He was willing to answer... Last night... He was standing right at the back of them near the stairs when the passion heats the sender and her... He saw everything... Though it was nothing big deal overall.. She was downright embarrassed... She couldn't imagine that and she hoped that the water used for washing can increase the purity of her... While.. She know that she couldn't deny anything or change the fact... She lost her words to explain and console him as well... The chatting session ended in half an hour time... She went back to her dreamland full of uneasiness, shamefulness and remorse...

She pulled the door and entered her secondary workplace.. She paused for a moment wondering what's the mood she should put on as she saw him sitting there... As normal.. She took brisk walk towards the counter and threw her cigarette box and lighter out before she made her way to clock in... His friends were complaining why she was late... And they had been drinking since 7pm... The jug on their table was the fourth... He was on and off shouting cheers and bottom up.. He was drinking fast and he had the intention to get drunk... She could tell that he was really down and she lost her words to him... He asked for her and he hold his arms around her waist... He pour out all his feelings and told her that he would not be coming again.. He reminded her to take care of herself and could still ask him out anytime... Her feeling was a mixture of awkward, guilty, sad, touched... Awkward as the rest of the customer inside the pub could see him hugging her and was pulling her close to talk... Guilty as she never meant to break his heart... Sad as she was truly sorry for what happened last night to herself and him.. Touched as she knew this guy was seriously in love with her... He left soon after finishing his last mug for the sixth jug... She was still puzzled for his love declaration as she had never ever thought he is one of her suitors... His friends was teasing her remarking, that this was the first time he was drinking till he get drunk in a pub for the past ten plus years they had knew him... They agreed that he was always the one with most self control in drinking and always controlling their intake of alcohol as well... She was totally amazed by the words flew out from their mouth... Totally unexpected...

27/03/2006... She was awaken by her mum as usual... She heard her mumbled something and the flipping of her jewelry sound.. She was still lazing on her bed.. Tossing around to catch five more minutes of good sleep.. But her mum was speaking too loud in her high pitch.. She jumped up from bed with frustrations and walked out of the room.. Her mum was asking about the necklace... Yes the diamond necklace.... Her 21st birthday present.. She knew that she have got to face the music sooner or later.. But she didn't expect that would be so soon... When her mum was too insistent in forcing her to show the necklace as a prove of existence... She shouted across "It's LOST!".. She doesn't want to explain why it's lost.. And the flame in mum burns angrier... She told her off and said sarcastically that there is no need to re-make it.. As the meaning would never be the same.. Her heart was pierced and sadness engulf her... She doesn't understand why she said that... She has been a very good girl... She helps the family and she earns her own living... She worked two jobs just to make sure she could further her studies and adds no burden to her family... She swallow all the tiredness and sickness, just to be on her own... Mum doesn't understand what happened the past few months... She wouldn't understand how hard she has been nor how important is the money she had to folk out to re-make the necklace and the importance of the necklace in her heart... She cried when she was bathing... Her world is black.. Her sky was Grey... Her presence is white.... She doesn't want to talk to anybody or reply anybody... She just want to be alone... She is used being alone....

He knows that she is not feeling good.. He offered his companion.. But she rejected.... She was having dinner alone at the coffee shop near her house.... And was messaging him... After much of persuasion.... She agreed to has his accompany for the night... He indeed rush down in less than half and hour time... She was still worried if he can find the place... She told him about all the things about her family and what happened in the day... He exchanged his background with her just to make her feel better... He sent her home around 10pm... She was too tired to talk anybody... In fact she was already carrying the tiredness and a little bit of her hang over the whole day... But she did felt much more better after the talk...

30/03/2006... While she was rushing to work.. She noticed that her skirt was way below the usual grip by her hip... She felt a little uncomfortable as it gives her a feeling that her undies is revealing.. She reached office and frantically asked around for safety while squeezing the extra cloth of the "L" size skirt she is wearing.. Her colleagues thought her skirt was tore and offered needles and strings... She couldn't help laughing and was embarrassed even the guys notice her weird actions... "Hmm.. Guess it's working".. She smiled at herself with satisfactory... They met at Toa Payoh.. Was supposed to go KTV together.. As usual.. She was late.. They were to meet 7pm, she reached there about 7.30pm.. She had dinner with her girlfriend at Long John Silver thereafter they headed to Safra for the singing... When she stepped into the same room as new year day... Her mind brings back the flashback... She missed him a little at that moment... They ended the session around 1am.. She was very exhausted... He wanted to send her up home but she wanted him to leave with her girlfriend on the cab home... Till she finish her bathing and get to see his message... She was surprised when he said that he sent her girlfriend home first then make a big turn back to his house... How true is his gentlemen.. She truly wondered... She beings to add up points for him as he really deserve it....

31/03/2006... She tried avoiding the guy.. But he's always the regular on her working days... Today is her colleague - Jing Jing last day.. She felt a bit sad she's leaving... But Jing promised that they will still keep in contact... She received unexpected blue rose from the guy... Happy as it's a flower..! Girls love flowers as they always do... Cause it makes them feel they are pampered and naturally increase the envy of the same sex.. But too bad.. It's a flower with the wrong color and the worse it's from someone she wouldn't even consider... While she was doing her rounds.. She was challenged to drink Martell nick... She couldn't remember how many glasses she had.. But definitely, she's not going to walk straight after that.. The customer was still kind enough to buy her LD after drinking of the nick... But she vomited shortly after that... Out of spontaneous.. She agreed to play mahjong with his friends... She couldn't recall how she managed to endure the three hours mahjong session after working for three quarter day and drinking till 80% intoxicated... She had never been so tired... Indescribable tiredness... She dragged her feet, she walked while sleeping.. Just a one sec snapped of your fingers.. You can proudly declare you had hypothesize her to sleep...

2/04/2006... She woke up at 11am.. Definitely.. She had yet to get the full supplement of sleeping.. She replied her girlfriend message and had arranged to meet... And the same time.. She messaged him as well... She went back to her dreamland about an hour later and was late for her meeting at bubble tea house, 3pm... She was still in a daze and the whole body aches... She decided she doesn't want to go work... But the angel in her says go... She placed him in for the meeting as she does want to meet him and had a little responsibility for asking two of them out seeing who will agree first... After their meal.. She headed for the doctor... She can withstand her yawning and her blue mood to work... The guy paid for the fake medical bill whereby she didn't expect he would... "Strange guy" she thought... He was snatching every single opportunity to pay for whatever thing as long as it involves her... She suddenly felt his true for her and the serious level was moving upwards rapidly...
They sent her girlfriend onto the bus and walked back to the Central for a drink at Mac Donald.. They chatted and it was their first conversation bringing in the understanding of each other's present life...

05/04/2006... She was messaging him before she stepped into her working place at Duxton... Somehow the messages spoilt her mood for the night... She felt that she owned him a lot.. But at the same time.. She wished she could take a step back in this relationship... She would never allow herself to leave for sure... She's too soft hearted to do so... She felt vexed, unhappy and sad... She purposely cornered herself with the alcohol available to drink... She wanted to drink.. No reason why... Just to drink as it's a natural behavior of her when she is soaked in a tub of unhappiness... She was stressed as well and she released her emotion when she got back to her void deck in front of him... He asked to use the loo and was there till the next morning when she opened her eyes... The second time in the year... She did not change nor wash up and laid as good as a dead man on her bed till dawn... She refused to get down the bed as the remaining alcohol surpassed her will to go work... MC for the day.. She quoted to her day and fall deep into her sleep... The next moment when she was awake... She realized that he was lying on the floor without a blanket or pillow... She find him amusing as he is silly enough to sleep on the tiling when she wouldn't mind to forgo half of her bed for him... She invited him up onto the bed and they were indulge in the lucrative urge of intimation... They went to Central for their brunch and MC... Thereafter they met for dinner at Tian Tian steamboat house... Although she was off for the day.. But she did not managed to get the sufficient hours of sleep to recover from hang over... He promised his friends for the mahjong session and she followed unwillingly as her bed time was sacrificed... She went home like a zombie when the mahjong finally ended at 1.30am...